Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Bill Parker and Mike Bates' LiveJournal:

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Sunday, October 1st, 2006
7:04 pm	And six months later... (Bill) The Twins make me so f'ing happy right now, I don't know what else to say. But since I haven't written since March, I should mention that I had the greatest summer ever and am going to go work in Chicago after I graduate in May. (Which I'm not looking forward to. The graduation, not the Chicago. I just like it here.) But back to those Twins. It was a season that was preceded by the death of the team's icon and began with one of the most ill-conceived starting lineups in recent memory. They started with a 25-33 record. The team is managed by a monkey of average monkey intelligence and has suffered serious injuries to its second- (or arguably first) and third-best starting pitchers, from whom the dropoff to the fourth best is like the dropoff from the Lord of The Rings trilogy to the next-best movie about a heroic midget with hairy feet. And yet they've come through all that to post the team's best record since 1970 and surpass the teams that looked like the two best in the Majors about a month ago. And they have a 23 year-old who just became the first catcher ever to lead the AL or the whole Majors in batting, and they have the sure-fire Cy Young and likely (though perhaps undeserved) MVP. Man, life is good today. Bring on those A's. And then, hopefully, the Tigers, after their improbable five-game upset of the scary, scary Yankees. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 4th, 2006
10:00 pm	Opening Night Running Diary (Mike) 7:00 It’s opening day for the Minnesota Twins, and I’m coming to you live from my bedroom with a bag of pretzels (I’m waiting for Melissa to come home for dinner), a glass of lemonade (we’re out of soda), and the coolest cat in the world, The Cheat. 7:04 “The new look Twins”? That’s a little like me getting a haircut and going to work and announcing “Come see the New-Look Mike! So different from the last time you saw me! Look how my hair is a half inch shorter. Or putting on a new hat and shirt and saying “Look at me! I’m so different from how I was before!” except that I’m the same great pitching, crappy hitting guy I was 5 months ago that didn’t make the playoffs 7:05 Dear God! I think that Dick Bremer’s face is about to fall off of his head. He looks like he’s going for the Herb Carneal look. 7:07 The Twins have a sideline reporter this season, like the big networks. The difference in quality between the Bonnie Bernsteins and the Marney Gellner of the world is massive. 7:09 It seems that Dick Bremer, Bert Blyleven, and Marney Gellner are all still in preseason form, as their stumbling over their words as the broadcast begins. I, however, am in midseason form. My sitting and watching skills have not atrophied over the last five months. 7:12 Ah, the requisite Kirby Puckett tribute. I still miss you Kirby. 7:14 The Twins are celebrating the opening season with a hardcore rap intro. Hey, do the Minnesota Twins know their audience or what? All the Swedes in the house say “Ho!” 7:19 You think wrong, Bert, Tony Batista will not do all right at third base. Thank God you pitched better than you analyze. Tony Batista no longer has “a lot of potential.” Any potential that Batista once had has been long buried under mounds of crap. 7:20 Gardy’s lineup: Stewart, LF; Castillo, 2B; Mauer, C; White, DH,;Hunter, CF; Morneau, 1B; Batista, 3B; Kubel, RF; Castro, SS. El Presidente, Johan Santana is on the mound. 7:22 First pitch from Roy Halladay, ball one. The second pitch is lined to leftfield for a single. “You know, Johnny, they say you can tell a lot about how a season will go by how the first batter does.” 7:24 Let’s see, 162x9=1368. The Twins are on pace to have 1368 sac bunts this season. That’s got to be getting close to the record, doesn’t it? 7:26 An absolutely terrible play by Lyle Overbay gets Mauer to first. Overbay was an interesting pickup for the Jays. He’s very prized for his defense. Um…not exactly on display there. Lyle Overbay is now on pace to make 1368 errors this season. 7:28 What a great catch by Vernon Wells! Rondell White absolutely tattooed a pitch to deep center in his first Twins AB, and got an RBI. After Torii grounds out, it’s 1-0 Twins. 7:30 I gotta say, I wish Torii had hit his little nubber to second like he hits a piñata. 7:31 Looking at the Jays lineup for this game, I have to say that it seems a lot weaker than I thought it would. Reed Johnson should be a 4th outfielder, Alex Rios’ upside is Eric Byrnes. Vernon Wells is batting third. Lyle Overbay’s only an average hitter for a 1B. Shea Hillenbrand? I know he had a good year last year, but no thanks. 7:32 As long as Johan can field Tony Batista’s position as well as his own, I think that the damage Fat Tony causes will be minimized. 7:33 Thanks Bert and Dick, for reminding me about how much of a fraud Torii Hunter’s gold glove was last year. You should not be able to play 2/3 of the season and be considered one of the three most valuable outfielders in the league. 7:37 I think the Troy Glaus pickup is a net gain for the Blue Jays, especially if he can DH a third of the time to stay healthy. Given how weak the rest of the Jays’ lineup is, his presence is more important than Orlando Hudson’s defense. 7:39 Johan’s first K of the season is Troy Glaus. Troy, if you can’t lay off the high fastball, you won’t last long in the Big Leagues. 7:43 Tony Batista has managed to not make an out for four whole pitches now. 7:44 Oh, but on the 6th pitch, he pulls an outside fastball (would have been ball 4) for a weak grounder to short. 7:48 Lyle Overbay is now 0-9 against Johan Santana, with 8 Ks. Ouch. 7:55 Juan Castro gets a hit. That’s pretty shocking really. That’s his quota for the next two weeks, I think. 7:56 And Stewart grounds into a double play. The lesson? Never trust a man named Shannon. Seriously, what were his parents thinking? 8:03 I’m chatting with Bill online. He thinks that the strike zone has shrunk back down this season. I haven’t noticed, but I haven’t watched as much baseball this spring as he has. It will bear watching as the season passes. Neither of us know if the QWESTEC strike zone system is still being used. 8:06 Johan pitches out of a jam with an absolutely filthy changeup in the dirt. Vernon Wells is K number 3. 8:10 Mauer makes it on base for the second time today on an error. 8:11 Rondell doesn’t advance Mauer from second to third, grounding out to third. I thought the Twins were all about the fundamentals. 8:21 Johan gives up the first run of the season on a sac fly to Shea Hillenbrand, followed by a Bengie Molina HR. That was a man’s home run too. 8:27 Russ Adams needs to go back to Little League. He turned the wrong way after he overran 1B and should be the third out of this inning. Instead, the umpire needs to go to Little League with him and Johan has to throw more pitches. 8:30 Russ Johnson hits a long fly ball to left. Shannon Stewart makes an amazing play after overrunning the ball. While a great play, Shannon looks like he needs a compass and a map to play LF. 8:34 As Bill points out, the Twins half of the 5th is 5 pitches long. Way to go guys. Now that’s efficiency! Doc Halladay has thrown just 53 pitches in 5 innings. 8:39 Bert Blyleven says he’s not a big believer in pitch counts since “the hitters will let you know if you’re getting the ball up.” He’s right that, generally, the hitters will let you know when a pitcher is getting tired. But that’s not the reason why there are pitch counts. Rather, it’s a precaution to keep the Johans, Lirianos, and Berts of the world healthy and on the mound every 5 days. 8:43 The Twins’ new hitting coach looks younger than Jason Kubel. How do you take advice from a guy who looks like he should still be popping zits and figuring out how he was going to score at Prom? 8:46 Halladay’s been really cruising today. He’s an excellent pitcher and the Twins are not a good offensive team. But he’s really been dominant through the first 5 and a third. The Twins can’t seem to get a ball in the air against him. 8:51 And he’s being helped by umpire Joe Brinkman, who apparently thinks the strikezone begins at the shoe tops and ends at the eyebrows, and stretches from sea to shining sea. 8:59 A solid double play helps the Twins get out of some trouble here. I guess Batista is good for something. 9:00 I guess not (as he misses a grounder, diving to his left). 9:02 A Reed Johnson single chases Johan. The Twins are down 4-1. Bert claims that Reed Johnson idolizes Ty Cobb. Ummm…in what way? Does Johnson beat up guys with no hands and hate black people too? 9:05 Juan Rincon comes on to replace Johan. It’ll be interesting to see how he does in the wake of his elbow surgery. 9:14 Well, Tony Batista did hit a home run today. Good for him. Terry Ryan and Gardy can be all smug for the next three months, while Batista starts to suck. 4-2 Twins 9:16 I said that Batista’s homer was good. Bill says, “Well, that depends. If the Twins come back and win, it’s good. If they don’t, I’d just as soon he goes 0-50 and got the hell off my team.” Ditto for me. 9:31 Hey! It’s the Shannon Stewart show, starring Shannon Stewart. A big homerun to left-center makes it 4-3. Now, if we could only get somebody on in front of one of those big flies. 9:48 Ouch. An opposite field home run by Alexis Rios puts the Jays up by three and pretty much (with our offense especially) drives a nail into the Twins coffin in this one. A great piece of hitting by Rios as he went with an outside pitch and drove it. 9:54 We get our first look at B.J. Ryan as the Jays’ closer. A rocket off of Rondell’s bat is stabbed by Glaus. 10:00 Ugh. At this pace, the Twins will go 0-162. But Santana looked good. Stewart looks like he’s back this year. Hunter and Morneau both really struggled. A definite mixed bag in this first game. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
7:53 am	Goodbye, Norma Jean... (Mike) It's funny. When I was a boy, just learning about baseball for the first time, I had no idea what Kirby Puckett looked like. I had heard his name dozens of times, but had never connected the name to the man. As my parents and I drove to the Metrodome in 1986, I remember thinking that Kirby Puckett was a white guy who played right field, and that Tom Brunansky was a black guy who played center. And Tom Brunansky was my favorite. My parents and grandfather did their best to correct me. Soon after getting my first baseball cards, of course, I figured out that they were right. It had been Kirby Puckett that I had been worshiping. From that point on, Kirby made so many indelible images in my mind. Like snapshots, they are not entirely accurate. They capture a part of the man and the player, but not the whole. And they fade and distort with age. But as I sift through them, they bring to life the moments and the man that had such a profound influence on my childhood. 1991. Kirby, in his white, pinstriped uniform, racing backward to the warning track, glove outstretched, jumping high above the left-centerfield wall to save a homerun (something he did 7 times in the Metrodome in 1987 alone) at the absolute last second and at the height of his leap. Bouncing off the plexiglas and running back to the dugout. 1993. A struggling team, slowly slipping into mediocrity. Kirby, crouched at the plate. His generous posterior (from which Jim Kaat claims he generates his power) extending behind him like a bubble. There's a runner at second base, two outs, and we're down by a run. We need a hit. Kirby whips his bat around at a pitch that is down and away, at least 6 inches outside the strike zone. The bat doesn't make the resounding crack it usually does when Puck hits a ball, but he sends a solid ground ball just to the left of the pitcher anyway. The ball scoots up the infield, moving too quickly for the second baseman to catch up. It's through into centerfield and the runner scores. Kirby comes through again. 1991. The sweet swing off a Charlie Liebrandt changeup sends us all home after game six. He turned on that ball so quickly and generated so much power. The ball was high over the plexiglas. Joe Buck promises to see us tomorrow night. As he rounds the bases, Puckett is screaming, pumping his fist. The apex of a career and of a 13 year old's fandom. 2000. In a dark blue suit, squinting in his right eye, the one that cost him a chance at 3,000 hits and possibly 300 home-runs (during a time when 300 homers meant something). Giving his induction speech at Cooperstown. Wishing I could be there to watch. 1997. Bill and I want to get Kirby's autograph at TwinsFest. As we walk across the Metrodome infield, toward his booth, we see the line. It stretches well past the roped-off area. It seems like every baseball fan in the state of Minnesota is in that line. It is twice as long as any other autograph line in the dome. Longer than Killebrew's. Longer than Carew's. Conversely, the line for Tony Oliva is much shorter and we might have time to do both. Besides, we'll have many more chances to get Kirby's signature. Won't we? 1994. From our spot on the first base line (thanks to the Parkers' season tickets), we watch the Twins dugout. Bob Casey yells, "Ladies and gentlemen, your Minnesota Twins." Kirby is always the first one out of the dugout and he runs to centerfield. Not walks. Not jogs. Runs. The crowd screams. 1986-1995. "Batting third, center fielder, Kirrr-beeeeeee Puckett!" Screaming. So much screaming. I feel bad for Kent Hrbek. Any love he got had to feel anti-climactic. But more than anything else, I keep coming back to the same image of Kirby. I don't know if I got it from a baseball card or from a newspaper. Kirby is smiling. That, by itself, is nothing. Kirby was always smiling, seemingly always happy. But this smile was different. The camera had seemingly caught Kirby in mid-laugh. The smile was wider. It was more gleeful. It seemed to encompass the man and to make him shine. It communicated more about Kirby than any other picture. And perhaps it tells me more about my admiration and love for the man than any other picture. I wanted to see him happy. It made me feel good and reinforced my love of the game and of the men who played it. When I was growing up, Kirby represented everything that was right about professional sports and professional athletes. There is no way to properly convey how much Puckett meant to the state of Minnesota. Bill is probably right that you had to grow up in the upper Mid-West in the '80s and '90s to truly understand how deep a loss Kirby Puckett's death is. He was a giant and he was a teddy bear. He was a friend and an icon. And he always seemed to come through when the team needed him most. Of course, time and wistful remembering have probably warped some of my impressions of Puckett. In my memories, he could do no wrong on the baseball field. He never made a mistake, and was always a game-altering presence. In truth, Puckett was a free-swinger who never walked more than 57 times over the course of a season. His tremendous power from '86-'88 became mearly average for the rest of his career. And he got much larger over the course of his career, eventually leading to a switch to right field to accommodate for such great players as Alex Cole and Rich Becker. But in my mind, he never did wrong. Always came through. Always was smiling. Maybe this is how Yankee fans feel about Derek Jeter. The convenient amnesia is possible simply because of the overwhelming, transcending images of success block out every time Jeter couldn't get to a ball to his left because of poor footwork or grounds into a double play with the bases loaded. If so, I cannot begrudge them that they would argue incessantly for their idol. No matter what anyone says, or how compelling their arguments, I'll go to my grave believing Kirby Puckett to be one of the greatest players of all time. If Kirby Puckett was still here today, or if he can hear me now, I want to be able to thank him. I don't just want to thank him for the years he gave to the Minnesota Twins. Nor for the two world championships he brought home to Minnesota. Nor for the way he played. Nor for the way he conducted himself as an athlete. Nor for the memories he gave me. I want to thank him for, more than anyone else, making me a baseball fan. I cannot say whether, without Puckett, I would have or would not have been drawn to this beautiful game, a game that has been a constant love since I was eight years old. But I can say that, in my youth, Kirby was one part of the game that drew me closer. His smile and enthusiasm invited me in and convinced me I wanted to watch and to know more about it. Baseball has made my life more fun and more interesting, and I owe a great deal of that to Kirby Puckett. Please, rest in peace, Kirby. I know that your life was difficult toward the end, but hopefully, like me, you'll be able to let the memories of all the times you smiled so beamingly overrun those darker moments. I wish you could still be with us here, but as long as the generation of baseball fans who watched and loved you continue to enjoy the game you played, your legacy lives on. God bless. (Comment on this)
12:10 am	My Hero Died Today. (Bill) If you saw Kirby Puckett play baseball, whether or not you like the sport itself, you'd have loved him. Most of Minnesota did. A funny little round man, an amazing athlete in an almost completely average-looking body, Kirby did all those little cliches that add up to one big cliche called Playing the Game the Right Way. He was always playing at full speed, no matter what the score was, how he felt, or whether it was Spring Training or the World Series. And you could just tell he really loved to play, more than anyone you've ever seen. See that huge smile above? It seemed (in retrospect, at least) like it was just always there. I was at this game back in 1989, where he hit a homer to win it against the A's with two outs in the tenth. He only hit 9 that year, his lowest total from 1986-1995, but you just got the sense that it was what he needed to do, so he did it. It was the same spirit with which he later told his team to climb on his back, and almost single-handedly won Game 6 of the 1991 World Series. And he gave back to the community, the way you always wish that people who make millions to play a game would. He was everybody's hero. He was certainly mine. When, nearly ten years ago, it was announced that glaucoma had ended his career, seventeen-year-old me cried. The one sellout at the Dome that year (as I remember) was Kirby Puckett day, and they named a street outside the stadium after him. And don't let anyone tell you (as no one will today, but some would have a week ago, and some will a month from now) that he wasn't a deserving Hall of Famer. No, his numbers won't stack up against the very greatest, and nobody loves baseball's numbers more than me. But his numbers are still very good; and he played unbelievable defense; and he was the best player on, and very visible leader of, two World Champions; and he made ten All-Star teams. It seems to me that anyone that makes ten All-Star teams ought to get a serious look (it is, after all, the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of the Most Statistically Efficient). At his peak he was loved everywhere, not just in Minnesota, for both his ability and his attitude. Here's the thing, though: heroes aren't real. Heroes are worshiped, are blindly adored, and no mortal can possibly deserve that. As full as we are of weaknesses and failings, we project our own unfulfilled expectations on individuals who face more pressure on a daily basis than any of us will ever know, and ask them to be without sin. Those that make it unscathed through such an unpassable lifetime test do so not by virtue but by luck, or careful planning, or good PR people. Kirby's story merely makes this truth inescapably apparent. Some six years after his retirement (and I'm not going to get the order of events straight; if you want facts, go to any news site today), his wife divorces him. He's sued multiple times, most notably by a woman who claims he sexually assaulted her in a bar bathroom (he's acquitted, but we know how much that means in the case of national sports figures). And a cover story appears in Sports Illustrated, accusing him of everything from beating his wife to hating sick kids. The SI article's main (only, if I recall) sources were his embittered ex-wife and his embittered (alleged) ex-mistress; the most realistic assumption seems to be that the "real" Kirby fell, as we all do, somewhere between the hero we knew him to be and the demon he was portrayed as in the article. Nevertheless, all Minnesotans saw was the demon; he moved to Arizona and never looked back. He reportedly started drinking heavily. In the most recent pictures of him, he must have been carrying over 300 pounds on his 5'8" frame. (Earlier,I heard an observation like this made to suggest that we need to keep "distance"; that we shouldn't, in a sense, have heroes, because they're just human beings. That's baloney. Children, especially, need heroes. I'm grateful for Kirby; if he'd been just another good player, if he'd done the Charles Barkley, I'm-no-role-model thing, the decade from 1986 to 1995 would have been a lot different, a lot sadder probably, for me and thousands of other kids. You don't hear many people saying we should get rid of Santa Claus because he's not real; in the same way, kids need their heroes.) I guess I was still always expecting the big homecoming. Maybe it never would have happened. But someday, I thought, he would come back, maybe with some figurehead position with the team like the one he held until 2002, and say, "Minnesota, I have faults, I'm sorry," and there'd be a kind of big state-wide figurative group hug. Instead, Kirby Puckett had a massive stroke on Sunday and passed away on Monday, eight days shy of his forty-sixth birthday (and six days shy of my twenty-seventh). His life was far too short, and far too sad, but for twelve astoundingly wonderful years in the middle. There's no doubt that he had faults, and it seems likely that he did some terrible things, and I don't mean to make light of that; in a sense, similarly, he brought a lot of his late troubles on himself. But if anything, it seems to me that that makes it even more tragic. So here's a thank-you to Kirby the lovable hero, and a heartfelt prayer for Kirby the unavoidably fallible human being. You were a huge part of my childhood, and I'll always remember you. I hope, and believe, that you're somewhere right now wearing a smile much like the one above. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 9th, 2006
10:28 am	Stuff (Mike) Have you noticed, Bill, that when we say that we're going to do something in this journal, we immediately go out and do the exact opposite? I find that odd. Thanks for writing so much, Mike and Bill. Thanks for breaking my cow lamp. But I've had incredibly little to write about for the past two weeks. I'm working hard. The Twins aren't really doing anything right now, unless you count signing Ruben Sierra. And I don't, despite FoxSports.com's claim that he is a lock to make the team (seriously, this is about the dumbest move I could imagine the Twins making in constructing their roster. How do you need a DH-PH when you play in the American League and you've already signed a DH this offseason? This is the same reasoning they used to sign Jose Offerman, who happened to be five years younger, 20% better, and who didn't actually play well anyway.) Other than that, nothing is really going on in central PA (except all the Steelers fans who popped out of the woodwork last week). We did get some good news on the Melissa front, however. My wife got some very encouraging encouragement from a leading figure in resperatory physiology who wants to collaborate with her on an experiment she is developing. The good news is that the experiment would be run in San Diego and, while we wouldn't move out there, we may have to go out there to get the thing set up. Well, she has to go out there to get the thing set up. I have to go out there to see a Padres game and enjoy the beach. As always, I'm very proud of my scientist of a wife who is well on her way to being way cooler than Galileo and Einstein rolled into one, and far cuter. We have discovered the world's greatest buffalo wings here in Bellefonte at a place called Bonfatto's. We may be heading there tonight for their Thursday night wing special (6 for $1.99). Aside from it being the cool high school hang out on Thursdays, it's good times. I haven't been able to conquer their Fire in the Hole style yet, which is disconcerting considering I love and am able to tolerate just about any level of spiciness. Perhaps tonight is the night that I just order 12 of them and go to town. In a related story, perhaps tonight is the night that I burn a hole through my stomach lining and end up like the fat guy in Se7en. I don't really want to talk about politics much this time around, except to say that, if Abraham Lincoln had used electronic surveillance during the Civil War (as Attorney General Gonzalez claimed before the Senate (good thing they didn't swear him in)), how come he didn't know about his own assassination ahead of time? See? Wire-tapping isn't so effective. Lincoln is still dead. By the way, I challenge anybody to explain to me why the Bush administration is in the right here. I mean, I grudgingly accept the need to monitor communications of American citizens who may be working for the enemy, but how does that give the President the authority to bypass the warrant process entirely? The President's excuse that he has to move quickly doesn't make sense since he can get the warrants up to three days after the tapping begins. What, there's not a spare lawyer around he can send up to the FISA court to get that shit taken care of? Are all the lawyers busy trying to figure out if the program is legal or not? OK, that was an entire paragraph about politics, I apologize. Is there a way I can make it up to you? Let me know how and it shall be done. Now, I must shower, for I am disheveled and need to go to class in an hour. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
1:28 pm	I can't believe I'm taking two freaking classes on antitrust. (Bill) Well said, Michael, well said. I, too, seem to write better when I'm writing more, which is why this offering and all others in the foreseeable future will unapologetically suck. Also, my 'm' key is dying, and only responds about half the time, which explains many errors of the recent past and future. Deal with it. The attack on the "war on Christmas" might be a little harsh. That's one of those all-too-common issues on which there is an equal number of impossibly silly people on both sides. Having said that, I freely acknowledge that in most realms, the 15-years-plus war on political correctness seems to have been more or less resolved in favor of common sense. I even heard some dippy entertainment reporter, on TV this morning, refer to George Clooney's two wacked-out, ultraliberal films of 2005 as "politically correct," which she took to mean "in tune with the radical political leaning of the overwhelming majority of actors, who hold most of the Oscar votes." It is thus clear that the term has completely lost its meaning, which in this case is a good thing. And really, the end result isn't all that bad. People are a little nicer and more tolerant, the Howard Sterns of the world make a little less noise, and in most places, you can still hang a Santa Claus on your cubicle wall without repercussions. Given the alarming danger to the whole range of First Amendment freedoms that is presented by the whole idea of "political correctness" on its face, I'd say that's a pretty amazingly good result. Also, Civilization IV appears to be an absolute good. Except that for all the time I have spent on it, and as helplessly in love with it as I am, I don't seem to be any damn good at it. I'm kind of in no man's land, winning far too easily on the lower difficulty levels and having no chance of competing on the middle or higher levels. You must teach me, Mike. And if the teaching takes the form of destroying me in a multiplayer game (perhaps this weekend sometime?), that's a price I'm willing to pay. I must make myself worthy of this wonderful, wonderful creation. Can you believe that they're actually making a movie where one of the big moments of tension (according to the previews) is the call from the policeman saying "we've traced the calls...they're coming from inside your house!!"? I mean, do you think that these people just never heard a ghost story in middle school--every one of which unfailingly contained that line--and really think they're being creative? Also, what's up with the delay on that Pink Panther movie? My theory (which is totally unsubstantiated, based on my memory and five minutes of research) is that they made it, and it was terrible, and they realized that Steve Martin and Kevin Kline just aren't sexy enough to draw people to see garbage like that, so they added Beyonce as kind of a last minute deal. Anything to that? If you look at the original announcements and gossip about that movie, and from what I remember about seeing the trailer like a year and a half ago, there was no mention of Beyonce at all until, seemingly, the last few months. Seems very strange. At any rate, I'd rather watch this than Panther. And I really like both Martin and Kline. But really, rent De-lovely. I assume you saw King Kong? I saw it a month ago, but for some reason I need to unload my thoughts on it right now. I don't think I've ever been more disappointed by a film. Just too damn much of everything. It was way too long for what it was. Everyone in the movie should have died five or six times, and there's no remotely plausible explanation for why any of them did not. There was way too much time spent on the island being chased around by fanciful and technologically impressive--but really uninteresting--creatures. It was far too loud, and far too violent for no apparent reason. The only thing that there didn't seem to be too much of was character development (there was basically none). And the acting...Jack Black has been properly acknowledged as having been terribly miscast, but where did all those accolades for Naomi Watts come from? She had, essentially, one facial expression and zero lines. And as impressive as most of the effects were, there were moments where it looked like they didn't try (especially during the ridiculous dinosaur chase; there were a few shots where you could almost reach out and touch the green screen, early 80s-style). From the director of three of the greatest movies I've ever seen (or one really great 11-hour movie, depending on how you're counting), I would've expected...well, something. There was just no reason, for me, to like that film. -6; I'd love to go lower, but it's still gotta be a solid five points better than Donnie Darko. Well. That's all. Let me know when you want to kill me at Civ IV. In the meantime, I'll be...well, playing Civ IV, and maybe taking a break for class or sleep here and there. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
8:37 am	10 Things I Don't Hate About the Next Month (Mike) With the Hot Stove season just about wrapped up and the Super Bowl less than two weeks away, we're entering my least favorite time of the year, the Winter Doldrumms. Between now (well, the first week of February really) and the end of February, there is literally nothing to get excited about in the world of sports. Oh, sure, the NBA is playing, but if you are still an NBA fan you probably also really like Kevin Federline's new song. And, of course, NCAA basketball rolls on; but let's face it, there are more than 300 teams to keep track of and it doesn't really start to get interesting until the tournament anyway. So until pitchers and catchers report (and even then, Spring Training isn't terribly interesting until teams start to play games (March 2nd, Twins v. Red Sox)) there just isn't much to keep sports fans like me and you happy. But, hey, here are ten things to cheer you up for the next month: 10) If you live in the North, watch the pretty, fluffy snow harden during the -10 degree nights into icy, solid hard pack. If you live in the South, enjoy gray and rainy weather. If you live in Phoenix or southern California, go to hell. Good times. Good times. 9) Baseball Prospectus 2006 will hit the shelves at some point in the next month or so (I hope). Yes, I realize this is baseball related, but the sheer volume of information presented in this book should get you up to speed on who is looking good and who looks like the Royals for this upcoming season. The mix of baseball, pop culture, philosophy, and raw statistics is surprisingly readable and occasionally hilarious. If you buy only one baseball book a year, it should be this one. 8) Tivo and DirecTV. Godsends. Hollywood is releasing such sure fire crapfests such as When a Stranger Calls, the heartwarming tale of a babysitter and a serial killer; Firewall the latest Harrison Ford attempt to pretend he's not 60 years old; Final Destination 3, the horror movie that's not really about horror so much as finding inventive ways for kids to die; The Pink Panther, which, despite starring Steve Martin, was moved from an August release to a February release; and Curious George, which, even with Will Ferrell, I don't have high hopes for. Oh, and we haven't even talked about Dr. Doolittle 3 yet. Thank God for House, 24, Boston Legal, Lost, Gray's Anatomy, and the Friday night SciFi lineup so that I have something worthwhile to watch. 7) Civilization IV is a tremendous game and has a high replay value. Also, there is about a 40% chance that this game will be the cause of me flunking out of grad school. You should buy it. 6) Significant others tend to generate a great deal of body heat. Snuggling, though not terribly manly, is an excellent strategy to keep warm and is fun. 5) The ongoing destruction of the Democratic Party is compelling to watch in the same way as a burning car on the freeway. Seriously, how can you not pick up any kind of traction against the Republicans at this poiont? Oh, that's right, you're dumb. Republican lawmakers should just start accepting bribes on the floor of Congress openly and unappologetically, then call Nancy Pelosi and Ted Kennedy every night and brag about it. "Hey, Ted, I pulled in $80,000 today. How much did you get? Nothing? That's too bad. What are you going to do about it?" I'm not saying that Republican lawmakers are dishonest and would do that, mind you, I just figure it'd be funny to see how long it would take Democrats to pick up any meaningful ground. 4) Now that a Cease Fire in the War on Christmas has been brokered until next November, collect all your leftover ammunition to get ready for the Easter War. Christ died for our sins, people. Get out your Easter decorations! Start wishing Jews a Happy Easter right now. When they look at you funny, punch them in the face. If they tell you, "Hey, it's still February," tell them you're offended that they're trying to criticize your religious beliefs. Personally, I am going to boycott any store that isn't fully decked out for Easter shopping goodness. 3) Two words: Snow Angels. 2) Given adequate ventalation procedures, the human body can be drained of blood in 8.3 seconds. So, in case you do start listening to Kevin Federline's new song, you don't have to hear much of it. Just be ready, that's all I'm saying. 1) I will be blogging as regularly as possible. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and occassionally on the weekends. I know Bill is swamped, but I find I'm able to write better when I write more often. So, you're stuck with me. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 23rd, 2006
4:12 pm	Busted (Mike) I think (hope) that most of the baseball loving public knows what a moron Buster Olney is. Not that he's not a smart person, I guess, but just that his analysis on ESPN.com is generally wrong-headed and uninformative. His daily blog at The Worldwide Leader generally reports non-stories like "[Giants' pitching coach] Dave Righetti likes the look of the Giants' rotation" as if it's news. That said, every now and then Olney shares his interpretations of the latest news with the class, and comes up with gems such as "with a huge hole in center field and at lead-off, the Red Sox will have to trade some of their young talent -- their most coveted asset -- to get the Indians' Coco Crisp. Top young third baseman Andy Marte would be part of that deal; the third baseman of the future could be headed out the door. Had the Red Sox believed Kevin Youkilis was really that good, they wouldn't have traded for Marte, and they would've already installed Youkilis, as a stop-gap, at third base." There are so many things wrong with this statement, I'm not entirely sure where to begin. First, it's pretty clear that the most coveted asset that both the Red Sox and Yankees (who Olney lumps into the same boat) have is money, not young talent. For both organizations, young players generally serve as trading chits to land other team's high-priced stars. Aside from the occasional Chien-Ming Wang (Yankees) and Bronson Arroyo (Sox), young players have been about as rare as a female Yankees fan without a mustache. Even Youkilis, coveted by statheads everywhere, has yet to get anything resembling regular playing time for the Red Sox (and won't this year either with Mike Lowell in the fold). Consider: this season, the Red Sox could have dealt Edgar Renteria to open up the SS spot for Hanley Ramirez, the team's heir apparent at the 6 spot. Instead, they packaged Ramirez with other prospects and sent him down to Florida for Josh Beckett and the aforementioned Lowell. Prior to the acquisition of Renteria (just after the 2004 World Series), Ramirez was considered "untouchable" (which presumably pumped up his trade value). Now, the Red Sox have SP prospects Jon Lester and John Papelbon that are making GM's mouths water around the league. I'm guessing they both won't end the year in the Boston system, one of them shipped out of town at the trading deadline for a CF or SS or SP upgrade. Andy Marte fits into this formula perfectly. The Sox acquired him, not necessarily because they felt they needed a "third baseman of the future," but because Marte was such an excellent talent. Also, with his value high, they could include him in a deal to get what they wanted, if they so desired. Olney has obviously not read The Mind Game, the Baseball Prospectus staff's recent book that deconstructed the 2004 championship team. In it, the BP staff focus on Theo Epstein's (and the Red Sox front office's) focus on planning for the unexpected. They have backup plans for their backup plans so that the team can plug any hole and not lose a step. Bill Mueller goes down? Plug in Youkilis. Lose Curt Schilling? Move Bronson Arroyo from the bullpen. Need a stolen base? Well, use pinch runner/5th outfielder Dave Roberts that the team acquired at the trade deadline. The point is that the Red Sox never rest on their laurels and find themselves satisfied as being "good enough." The point is that, as far as the Red Sox are concerned, there is no 3B of the future. There is no reason for the team to be locked into one plan/one strategy beyond "we will do everything and look everywhere we can to improve our team." So, while the offseason has thusfar been chaotic for the Sox, their ability to fine tune and to make back-up plans for their back-up plans means that they should be alright by the time Opening Day rolls around. Need a CF? Trade one of our 3 3B for one. Need a SS? Well, Julio Lugo's still available. So's Alex Gonzalez (who would undoubtedly go for a guaranteed 1 year deal about now). Theo's back, and Boston's going to be ok. And even if he wasn't back, I guarantee you that they had a plan in place for that too. (Comment on this)
Friday, January 20th, 2006
4:08 pm	Jottings (Mike) Serious entries are seriously overrated. I'm just glad we're both back to writing something. Your point is an interesting one, especially given our shared unhappiness with the election of Bruce Sutter to the Hall of Fame. Of course, saying that we can make an argument for Tekulve is different from saying we can make a good argument for him, particularly in light of Sutter's huge advantage in the number of saves he has "earned", Tekulve's many years as a set-up man, and the credit Sutter's been given (erroneously, by all accounts) as a pioneer of both the split-fingered fastball and the modern closer role. The election of Sutter is the biggest example of Group Think I've witnessed since everyone decided that Zubaz were cool for 3 months in middle school. Ah, I can picture Denny Green now. I'm not sure that there's a funnier story in baseball now than the report out of Boston that Theo Epstein has agreed to work for the Red Sox again. Of course, he is not returning as the General Manager, the position he gave up in November that was then split between two organizational soldiers. It will be interesting to see if Epstein is greeted as the knight on a white horse riding in to save the Red Sox Nation or if his absence will be interpreted as a) selfish pouting and b) an act that severely hampered the Sox in their winter dealings (which have largely been a disaster). I'm hoping for the former, since I like Theo, but this is a little like having an old, hot girlfriend who left you come back and find out that you've gotten remarried to the girl who lived next door who "has a great personality." How did Rusted Root create something as awesome as "Send Me On My Way" and then never write anything else remotely listenable again? It's great that the U.S. State Department is allowing Cuba into the World Baseball Championships, just so that Fidel Castro can no longer claim that the U.S. doesn't have the balls to play them. Here's how I see the scenario playing out: Cuba advances from the C bracket as the second place team (behind Puerto Rico and ahead of Panama and the Netherlands). Then, they get absolutely slaughtered against everyone in the second round in a division that includes P.R., Venezuela, and the Dominican Republic. Their utter destruction at the hands of real ball players convinces everyone that Cuba isn't the big threat everyone claims it is, the U.S. drops its trade embargo because they can no longer justify its existence when we trade openly with China and Russia (one semi-communist, and both at least quasi-dictatorships), and I get to buy Cuban cigars down the street whenever I want to. OK, so that's the plan. Now, execute, execute, execute. I'm hoping the Marlins don't move from Miami simply because it opens up a spot for the Twins to move to down the road, should our own stadium battle continue much longer. That said, perhaps the ground is too poisoned there for any team to move in for another 20 years. Like Montreal or Kansas City, where MLB may never have a major league team again. By the way, the lack of an MLB team in Montreal is so disappointing to me. I went to a couple games at the big O (le Stade Olimpique) and had a tremendous time. My friends Mike Alto and Sarah Goodrich used to go there all the time too, and enjoyed finding themselves on occassional SportsCenter highlights as two of 25 fans in the OF bleachers. The tickets were cheap, the parking was cheap, and the train had a station connected to the stadium. And I miss Youppi!. State College has finally gotten a minor league baseball team (though I can't figure out how they're going to get the stadium constructed by June (when the NY-Penn League season opens). The Cardinals moved their team out of New Jersey to central PA for at least one season, where they will be known as the Spikes. You want more good news? The hitting coach is the incomperable Steve Balboni. I'm almost certainly going to be working for the Crosscutters again (good people, and Tom Prince is coming back), but I'll enjoy getting away to watch The Great Balboni at the new stadium that's 20 minutes from my house (as opposed to an hour away). By the way, if you'd like to be like the Balboni (and now the seniors in the back! We like Roy!), here's your chance. Also, for fun reading, Google "The Curse of the Balboni". Dayn Perry deconstructs the Marlins fire sale</a> this offseason, and reaches an interesting conclusion, that the fish won't be as hurt by the loss of their C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, CF, RF, two SP, and Closer as people think. I believe he's right, and may even be being pessimistic by predicting 90 losses. Given that they won 83 games last year, I can see them dropping to 77-85 this year, based on the pitching loss. That said, Marlins owner Jeff Loria should be lined up against a wall while every resident of Miami gets to throw a baseball at him from 60'6". Lew Ford is apparently really into Soduko puzzles now, to go with his love of online role playing games. Why do I get the feeling that if I asked Lew to come play Madden with me in February until 3 AM, he'd hop right on a plane. Ron Gardenhire says, "So now we're really comfortable at the catching position heading into this season." Comfortable? That's good, Ron. That's real good. You're sure you don't want to bring back Henry Blanco? What about Brad Ausmus? I bet you could get him or Mike Matheny? Hey, Bengie Molina is still available! I mean, you could be better than comfortable, couldn't you? Shouldn't you be happy with your catcher? Like you should be happy with your wife, not just comfortable with them? So don't get too comfortable Joe. You're not making Ron happy. (Note: The following paragraphs are serious. If you want the funny, the funny is over. Check back next time.) The ongoing debate in Pennsylvania over the Academic Bill of Rights, and the hearings on academic freedom recently at the University of Pittsburgh and Temple University originally had me concerned. For years, ideologues had been claiming that a) our nation's institutes of higher education were run by liberals, b) these liberals were indoctrinating and brainwashing their students, and c) many of these liberals were punishing any student who strayed from a liberal doctrine. It would be useless and intellectually dishonest for me to pretend that the majority of college educators aren't liberal. That said, the other claims make me angry, since they imply that I and my colleagues are unable or unwilling to teach courses that respect all opinions and that assess student performance on their ability to adequately use the skills and tools we teach and to show critical thought about everything that they're asked to read and do. Like I said, I was concerned about this growing shrieking about bias on this state's campuses by the likes of David Horowitz, the American Council of Trustees and Alumni, Students for Academic Freedom, and Republicans in the state House of Representatives. Then, of course, the hearings were held (in accordance with a House resolution) and hilarity ensued. At Temple, only one student testified about bias (and admitted he had never filed a formal complaint). Temple president David Adamany testified that there have been no complaints of bias at his school filed in the past five years. In a Philadelphia Inquirer interview, Penn State vice-provost for student affairs Blannie Bowen reported that only 13 complaints of bias had been reported in the thousands of classes offered at Penn State in the past five years. At the Pittsburgh hearing, despite months of publicity regarding the issue and the hearing itself, no complaints surfaced of bias and no students testified. Regarding this lack of evidence, Anne Neal, president of American Council of Trustees and Alumni, told Democrat and Republican committee members, “Let’s not put the burden on the student [to come forward]. Let’s put the burden on the institutions." So Ms. Neal is asking for schools to provide evidence that bias is not there. So, it seems that cases of liberal bias have become the WMDs of American academia. We know that they are there, but we just can't find them. But, as Donald Rumsfeld reminded us a couple years back, absence of proof is not proof of absence. Indeed, it simply means that like Iraq's weapons of mass destruction, the bias is well hidden. Meanwhile, like old, rusting barrels of chemicals once thought to be the elusive chemical weapons, David Horowitz has been forced to retract his most famous stories of political bias in the classroom. One, in which he claimed a professor showed Farenheit 9/11 in a biology class, Horowitz has admitted was told to him by a legislative staffer, not a student. In fact, there is no evidence such a case even exists. Similarly, Horowitz's oft repeated story of a pro-choice student who was graded down by a pro-life professor has no evidence to back it up. Why Horowitz still garners so much respect on this issue is hard to understand. Despite his plea that he "can't check out every story," again and again his horror stories of political bias in the classroom is drowned out by evidence to the contrary (or simply by pointing out that he himself has no evidence). Perhaps the most high-profile of Horowitz's tales is his telling of a University of Northern Colorado Criminal Justice student who was asked to write a paper on why George Bush is a war criminal. When the student supposedly turned in a paper on why Saddam Hussein is a war criminal instead, the prof failed her. However, Inside Higher Ed.com reports that "the test question was not the one described by Horowitz, the grade was not an F, and therewere clearly non-political reasons for whatever grade was given. And the professor who has been held up as an example of out-of-control liberal academics? In an interview last night, he said that he’s a registered Republican." The article goes on to talk about the nature of the test and reasons for the student's grade (one of which was that she was required to write 3 pages and only wrote 2) and discusses the professor's Republican affiliation and anger at Horowitz for not asking him about the incident and "cooking the whole thing up". The article is a fun read. So anyway, I don't think I have to worry about the day that my university tapes my courses to review for possible bias. I just have to worry about crazies like this paying my students to tape me. Heck, according to the Chronicle of Higher Education, these guys are too crazy to work for Horowitz, "Mr. Jones’s approach of 'baiting people' is wrong. Furthermore, [Horowitz] said, Mr. Jones used to work for him but he had to fire the UCLA activist after receiving complaints that Mr. Jones pressured students to file false reports about leftists. Mr. Horowitz accused Mr. Jones of stealing his donor list and has contacted his lawyer." But I figure that by the time they make their way east from California, I'll have tenure. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 19th, 2006
3:39 pm	Kent Tekulve for the Hall and other absurdities (Bill) Well said, and I more or less agree with you. But I still can't make myself care about them or the thousands of lunatics who follow them enough to seriously discuss it any more than I have in these two sentences. I know that Mike would like me to discuss something serious. I've already said I'm not going to attempt any sort of worthy response to the below. "Settled law" was suggested. But I can't do it; I'm staring at four months of non-stop serious discussion starting on Monday, and it's just not happening (which probably also answers, for my part, the question from Mike's last post, asking why it's so hard for us to actually write on here). But before I dedicate the entire remainder of this post to utter frivolity, I'll say that whatever you think about abortion and however "settled" it is, you can't get past the fact that Roe v. Wade is just plain bad law, probably the worst-written major opinion since the Dred Scott case (note that I'm not in any way comparing the subject matter; it's just that the reasoning of both is inexcusably poor). Two weeks from now, there will be at least four people on the bench that, whatever they've said to placate their congressional inquisitors, are keenly aware of that truth. It'll be interesting to see what happens. Oh, and a big "Amen" on that Hillary comment (and classic SNL reference). And people think our current president is stupid; just wait until they really get to know (the woman who I'm increasingly terrified will be) our next one... Okay. So, last week sometime, Mike pointed me toward an auction being held by this minor league team. I don't remember whether it was for a charity or just for them, but I'm hoping it's for a charity, because that's a good way for me to justify spending money on something I absolutely didn't need, a baseball autographed by former All-Star relief pitcher Kent Tekulve. Okay, so the amount I paid was roughly the cost of the ball; still, I don't need it. But it's fun. And it got me thinking; you can now make an argument that Kent Tekulve belongs in the Hall of Fame. Chart time: IP Saves ERA ERA+ Tekulve 1436.3 184 2.85 132 Closer A 868.7 304 3.27 134 Closer B 1132.3 367 3.16 121 Closer C 1042.3 300 2.83 136 Closer D 1390.3 238 2.88 127 Closer E 1289.3 478 3.03 132 Closer F 1174.7 179 2.79 123 Closer G 789.7 311 2.67 156 Each of these players has been retired for more than five seasons. None of them started more than six games in their career; all spent substantially all of their careers as short relievers or (mostly) closers. I'll add one more, who started 37 games but certainly bears mention: Closer H 1809.3 310 3.01 123 They all look roughly the same. The ones that pitched fewer innings (with the notable exception of Closer C) generally pitched most of their careers in the '90s, when closers threw (and still throw) fewer innings and gather more (more or less meaningless) "saves" than they did in the 70s and 80s. All pitched between 12 and 18 seasons except Closer H (who lasted through 22), and all were All-Stars at one point or another. "ERA+," for those of you who don't know, is a measure of a pitcher's ERA compared to his league, with 100 being average. Thus, for example, Closer D was 27% better at preventing earned runs than an average pitcher during his career. Now let's say that, armed with only that information, you were to put one of those nine pitchers in the Hall of Fame. I don't know why you'd want to, but let's just pretend you have to. Who would you pick? To me, they're all terribly similar, but I'd probably go with Closer H first, because of his longevity. Then I'd go with Closer G, because although he didn't pitch nearly as many innings, he was much more dominating than the others (look at his ERA+). Then, I'd probably pick Tekulve, then Closer E, again because they were effective over so many more innings (although if you still think saves are important and want to put Closer E before Tekulve, I won't argue too much). After that, I really have no way to choose. When you account for the different roles that closers played over time and a number of other factors, they all look exactly the same to me. But guess what? One of them is in the Hall of Fame, or has elected to be and will be as of this summer, and he's not any of my top four. He's Bruce Sutter, but you probably know him better as Closer C. Notice how he doesn't stand out at all in that group? Like, at all? Yeah, that would be my point. Sutter was a fine pitcher; he had three great seasons as a closer and five other very good ones. But eight good seasons does not a Hall of Famer make, and that's all he offers; his other four years (and yes, he pitched only twelve total seasons) were all below average. And eight seasons is especially inadequate for closers, who, even when they were throwing all those innings in the 80s, never factor in as many as 10% of their team's innings over the course of a season. The chart above probably says it all, but Sutter just wasn't dominating enough, or dominating for long enough, to merit serious consideration for the Hall. And yet Bert Blyleven, who incidentally threw nearly five times as many innings as Sutter, just isn't good enough. (Okay, here they are, going straight down the list: Jeff Montgomery (A); Jeff Reardon (B); Sutter (C); Sparky Lyle (D); Lee Smith (E); Ron Perranoski (F); the great, underappreciated Tom Henke (G); and, of course, Goose Gossage (H).) I was going to do a review, just for old time's sake, but I'm out of time; let me just recommend De-lovely. It's not perfect, and it was awfully disappointing to discover that it was alost entirely fictionalized. In real life, Cole Porter was entirely homosexual, his wife was ten years his senior and a divorcee, and their marriage was entirely for convenience; in the film, he's bisexual and his wife is Ashley Judd, who is certainly not ten years older than Kevin Kline, and their bizarre love story is really interesting. Nonetheless, it's a good movie, with great music (even if, unbelievably, you've never heard of Cole Porter, I promise he's written at least three songs you've heard). +2. (Comment on this)
11:35 am	So, a month ago, I wrote this thing... I thought dismissive mockery was what I was doing. That said, this will be my last word on Robertson and this topic in general (provided he doesn't go nuts and attack Ruth Bader Ginsberg with a folding chair)... Bill, understandably, believes that it's silly to address the ways in which certain inane politicians are using the Almighty to explain various disasters around our country. He's right, I suppose, that we should not have to waste time discussing lunatics who believe that God reaches down from His seat to move hurricanes or obstruct blood flow to an old man's brain. But here's the problem, I don't think these people are lunatics. I'm also not convinced that their underlying position, that God has a hand in the outcomes of world events, is an outlier. And I'm not sure that I think these people are wrong in their assumption. First, I believe that Bill is understating the influence that Robertson and other conservative pundits (religious and otherwise) have over American people. Robertson's The 700 Club, for instance has surged in popularity in recent years. Back Channel Media, a company that reports on television ratings and direct audience response to programming, reported a year ago that "November's average daily audience of 922,000 households is the highest in ten years and we experienced the same success in October and November....This audience success has carried over to The Christian Broadcasting Network's website, www.cbn.com,. As one of the most popular Christian sites on the web there was a 28% jump in unique user sessions (15.3 million) from year to year and a 60% increase in page views (61 million), which resulted in a 7% growth in average session times to 15.8 minutes, according to Web Methods." According to BCM, approximately 17 million households watch the show every month and it is available in 104 million homes. Bill will undoubtedly point out that there is not necessarily a correlation between Robertson's views and those of his audience. He's right, of course, there is no necessary correlation. However, I'd argue that for a program to be continuously on the air since 1966, and to have gained such a wide audience, that many millions of Americans believe very strongly in many of Robertson's causes (and, of course, many of them are probably good causes) and his theology. Likewise, Robertson's denomination (Robertson is a Southern Baptist) is the largest Protestant group in the country, with more than 16 million memebers. Undoubtedly, not all Southern Baptists believe what Robertson does (and, indeed, following his failed 1988 Presidential bid, Robertson doesn't even have an official congregation), but Jerry Falwell leads a church of 24,000 in Virginia, the late Adrian Rodgers led a congregation of 28,000 in Tennessee. These men have all had tremendous influence over the direction of the Southern Baptist church, and have all said really assinine things. And that's just in a couple of communities. Finally, the network of influential political and church leaders and the vast numbers of worshipers who participated in Justice Sundays I-III (all of which featured Jerry Falwell and other ultra-Conservatives such as Dr. James Dobson) seems to also suggest the influence these preachers have in the mainstream. Their ideologies and theologies are incredibly popular. And Robertson, Falwell, and their ilk are not alone in believing that God has a hand in the daily activities of our world. Millions of Americans pray to God every day for things they want or need. After every sporting event, our professional athletes (at least some of whom are probably normal people) thank God for giving them the talent to excel, or for helping them to jump higher or run faster. They thank God for making a kick sail wide right (or blame him when they screw up, Mike Vanderjagt). Ray Nagin, the mayor of New Orleans, yesterday suggested that God sent Katrina toward New Orleans because He is mad at the United States and at African-Americans. And finally, we come to Intelligent Design, a philosophy to which I subscribe (though I don't believe it should be taught in our schools). The gist of intelligent design, if you've been living under a rock for the last year or so, is that God evolution has been unfolding (and will continue) to play out according to God's plan. While many try to equate I.D. to Creationism, the two are mutually exclusive topics. Evolution and intelligent design are not incompatible, and even Darwin attributed the evolution of the species to God. The point, is that God, in His infinite power and knowledge, has set things in motion knowing how they will play out and that he has the power to affect that outcome. The problem, it seems to me, is that many of those who try to attribute natural disasters and illnesses to God's intervention are subscribing to an image of God as a vengeful Old Testament-esque deity. That seems wrong to me, as I generally believe that God is reserving his general annoyance for our last judgement. And while this whole debate may frustrate Bill (and probably anyone else reading this blog) because he (and maybe you) believe that it doesn't matter. I disagree. We live in a world where extremism is en vogue. Political leaders adhere to a doctrine of party affiliation and paint the other side as a foolish, mindless throng of wrongheadedness. The fact that these pundits remain on the air and in office speaks to the influence and popularity they have. Religious fanatics (many of whom are presumably intelligent) attack clinics, massacre rival ethnic/religious groups, and bomb military and civilians alike. All of them will wrap themselves in the defense that they are doing God's work and that he guides their hands. Idiocy, such as this, when it raises its head, should be confronted. I don't believe that we should ignore Robertson, et al. and hope he/they go away. Indeed, if I'm right about their influence, they are not going to. If we've learned anything over the past year, its that the news media will pay attention to him and others who say idiotic things. Ignoring him in this space won't make him go away, it will only allow him to speak unopposed. And he should not be unopposed. He (and Mayor Nagin) should be vigorously, vigorously opposed (and, of course, Nagin will be opposed, mocked from within his own party and without, for his role in the Katrina affair). Which is why I wrote my small satire a month ago. I don't think it's an issue that should matter, but since it apparently does, I want to make my views on it clear. Plus, I thought it was funny. May God strike me down if I'm wro... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, January 9th, 2006
9:46 pm	Catching up on the Twins (Mike) It has been far too long since I've written here. Why is it so hard to stay on task? Bill? Any thoughts? While I'm waiting for Bill's response, I thought I'd spend some time talking about I'm not sure there's a team in baseball right now who has been as hit and miss this offseason as the Twins. The addition of Luis Castillo to play 2B was a masterstroke by Terry Ryan, particularly since we did not have to give up anything resembling a premium prospect to get him. Castillo immediately upgrades the 2B position and provides some stability that was missing in last year's merry-go-crapfest that was Juan Castro, Nick Punto, and the unsinkable Luis Rivas. Castillo has some warts, don’t get me wrong. He has absolutely no power and seems to have been downgraded from Lamborghini-fast to Volkswagon-fast in the past few years. But his ability to get on base will allow Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau to drive more guys in, and his above average defense will pay dividends for Carlos Silva. Likewise, the team's addition of Rondell White was an excellent pickup given the terms of White's contract. First, White is only guaranteed one year and $3.25 million, so the move potentially involves a little risk, but a great reward. Though White’s injury history (since playing a career high 151 games in 1998, White has only played 905 out of 1134 games) seems to suggest that he might not be worth three-fourths of that, a second look may be necessary. White has traditionally manned LF for his teams, and has only DHed in about a third of his games since making the switch to the American League in 2004. There is a good chance that DHing on an everyday basis will keep White from aggravating one of the million or so achy joints that get worn and torn over the span of a season. If White can duplicate his rate stats from last season (.313/.348/.489) and play in 130 games, the Twins will see a significant improvement at the DH spot next year (Twins Dhs “hit” .254/.330/.391 last year). Some of the better decisions the Twins made this offseason were the moves that they didn’t make. Offering Jacque Jones arbitration, for instance, and letting him walk to the Cubs was an excellent move by Terry Ryan that a) rid the Twins of an expensive platoon player who was being continually forced to hit against his platoon strength, b) opened up a spot for Jason Kubel/Michael Cuddyer, and c) netted the Twins a pair of first round draft choices as compensation for losing him. Not only did the Twins save money, therefore, but can bring in players who actually will be worth the money they would have had to spend to keep Jones for far less. Keeping Kyle Lohse will also prove to be a smart decision as the season wears on. Lohse has, deservedly, developed a reputation over the past couple years of being an utterly frustrating player. Blessed with above average “stuff”, Lohse was called up in 2001, and struggled in the Twins’ unsuccessful pennant chase. 2002, however, was a huge step forward for Lohse, as he cut his ERA from 5.68 to 4.23, and won 13 games. His traditional numbers, however, hid some problematic issues. Lohse’s K/9 and K/BB rations dropped in 2002, suggesting that much of his success was due to luck on batted balls. In fact, Lohse’s K/9 have fallen every year he has been in the majors, down to a career low 4.33 last year. While much of this decline has been accompanied by increased control, Lohse’s advances at keeping the ball in the strike zone have been generally overshadowed by his high BA and OBP allowed. But this is not why Lohse is frustrating. He is simply just never consistent in his performance on a game-to-game basis. There is little in his stats to suggest why Twins fans can never know whether good Kyle or bad Kyle is going to show up on a given night. However, good Kyle tends to show up often enough to remind everyone that Lohse still has the potential to be an effective pitcher. It is this potential that makes Ryan’s decision to hold on to Lohse this off-season a good one. Replacing Lohse in the staff would be either rookie Francisco Liriano or 2nd year starter Scott Baker. Neither are sure bets to perform well. Lohse provides some stability to the rotation, while giving the Twins time to see if both Baker and Liriano will be able to produce next year. If they can, Lohse and his potential can become someone else’s problem, as the Twins ship him off to find another bat (preferably one to man 3B). There is one other reason to think Lohse may be effective this year: Luis Castillo. By all accounts, Castillo is an above average defender, showcasing good range and decent hands. He looks to be a step above what the Twins had at 2B for most of the past 4 years. Fortuitously, Lohse’s GB/FB percentage has increased each of the last four years, to a career high 1.25 grounders per every fly hit against him last season. If this trend continues, Lohse could see even fewer runners on first base in the coming year. But all is not good in Twinkie Town, as this offseason has seen Terry Ryan flub some chances to improve his team. Everyone’s least favorite offensive sink-hole, Tony Batista, is returning from Japan to man the Hot Corner for the Twins this year. By all accounts, this gambit should prove to be Bay of Pigs-bad. As much as Castillo and White (and maybe Kubel) will help the Twins’ OBP to rise from last year’s abysmal .323, a great deal of that improvement will be given back by Batista’s career .298 mark (indeed, if the Twins get the 2003-2004 version of Batista, that OBP would drop even further to .270). Batista does have a powerful bat when he can get it on the ball, but since that happens about as often as I eat a salad you shouldn’t expect a flurry of homeruns in the LF stands this year by Twins’ 3B. While I’m slightly enthused that Batista’s contract is not guaranteed (meaning we can void it in Spring Training for a relatively small fee), the fact that Ryan has not pursued other options for 3B leads me to despair. And speaking of other options at 3B, had Ryan held out for a couple months, he could have re-acquired Corey Koskie for a song from the Toronto Blue Jays. You probably remember Koskie as the oft-injured, lumber-jack-like, 3B from the Twins’ 2001-2004 contenders. Yes, his injury history rightly scared off the Twins when Koskie agreed to a 3 year, $17 million contract with the Jays, but as Jays’ GM J.P. Riccardi slowly came to the realization that he could not field a lineup consisting entirely of 3B (having Troy Glaus, Shea Hillenbrand, Eric Hinske, Aaron Hill, and Koskie on the roster), he began offering any team who needed one Koskie, a bunch of money, and the keys to the executive washroom for anybody in a baseball uniform. At that point, Carl Pohlad presumably decided to play Scrooge or Ryan decided he didn’t want to field a winning team, and the Twins turned down a fair offer for Koskie to return to the Northland. Instead, Koskie was dealt to the Brewers for a non-prospect while the Jays agreed to pay seven of the 11.5 million left on Koskie’s deal. Ryan’s lack of patience and apparent man-crush on a one-dimensional player is going to severely cripple the Twins as they try to retake the AL Central this season. Finally, the decision not to resign C/1B/DH Matt LeCroy seems, on its face, inexcusable. LeCroy was a perfect fit for the Twins’ bench. He hit a ton against lefties, could fill in at two or three spots, had excelled as a pinch hitter in the past, and (according to Tom Prince) could handle backup C duties, despite Ron Gardenhire’s feelings to the contrary (and that’s coming from the, ahem, prince of backup catchers himself). Aaron Gleeman has done plenty to catelogue why this is a bad decision, and I don’t feel compelled to go any further. But since LeCroy generally seemed like a good guy, and was one of our better hitters over the last few seasons, you’d think they could find a place for the guy. The Twins have made other moves this year. They traded J.C. Romero to the Angels. They picked up OF Jason Pridie from the D-Rays. And they lost Terry Mulholland. All of these moves will have virtually no impact on the Twins in ’06. But Ryan’s string of hits and misses this off-season seem likely to improve the team somewhat. I’m just not convinced that they, combined with Carlos Silva’s inevitable decline will allow the Twins to sneak by the White Sox. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
6:55 pm	Eh. (Bill) Well, I've nothing much to say to that (except: wishing for the death of the great British actor Sir Michael Gambon because you don't like his Dumbledore? Yikes). So I'll just provide this instead: Pat Robertson Says Pie Not Delicious. Okay, so I do have to say something. I think people should save their wrath for something that matters. Okay, sure, I get irritated at the inane things the crackheads that deign to align themselves with your party say (you know, Sean Penn, Barbara Streisand, Hillary Clinton...), but the thing to keep in mind is that nothing these people say carries any meaning whatsoever, because there isn't a single thinking person alive, aside from their irate enemies, who takes them seriously (okay, so I wish I could say I wasn't kidding by including Hillary there, but you know I was). Now, Robertson and Falwell have their followers, thousands of them, but a) everyone else on earth (and in Heaven) knows that those people are morons; and b) I bet the majority of them don't even believe the kinds of things that Falwell and Robertson say that are extreme enough to be newsworthy. And of those that do; if Falwell and Robertson weren't there, do you think those few poor fools wouldn't be Republicans? Or wouldn't be stupid? Or bigoted? Of course they would. These "conservative pundits" (a term which does injustice to both words when applied to these people) play absolutely no meaningful role in the world, and simply aren't worthy of your time. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that if people just met their comments with the dismissive mockery they deserve rather than this kind of anger, they'd go away entirely. (Comment on this)
1:16 pm	Wrath (Mike) As I procrastinated this afternoon, I learned the terrible news that much of the Lesterville, Missouri area had been inundated after a breach in a local reservoir flooded the town with 1.5 billion gallons of water from the Black River. Local rescue teams have evacuated many families, and it's thought that thousands of residents may have lost their homes, cars, and livelihoods. Events like this are so sad and we at The Expatriate Journal send our prayers and thoughts to these poor people. At times like this, I find myself asking the same question... What did these people do to make God so angry? After all, in recent months, we've heard conservative pundits argue that God's wrath has become apparent across this country. The Reverends Pat Robertson, James Dobson, and Jerry Falwell and new media darling Mike Gallagher have all mused about this possibility. People, look at who has been most affected by His awesome might. New Orleans has been a den of sin and vice for more than a century, largely due to the leftover influence of the godless French who founded the city. Even though those frogs have moved back across the pond (except for those rascally Quebequois; I have my eye on you, Canada), their liberal, namby-pamby, hedonist, God-hating ideologies remained, creating a mass as inescapable as Louisiana mud in March. Katrina taught them a valuable lesson in God-fearing. And Key West's role in our national decadence is well-documented. Rum and breasts flow freely in South Florida, after all. And don't think that being so close to Castro's Commy-Death Trap of Perpetual Pinko Torment (Cuba) hasn't rubbed off on them. Likewise, the debauchery of Houston's World Series celebration, combined with the presence of corporate evil-doers such as Haliburton and Conoco Oil angered our Lord. These cities both drew Rita's fury as punishment for their wicked ways. And I know what you were doing down there in Guatemala, Wilma survivors. Next time, you will think twice before allowing Survivor to film in your jungles. Of course, we cannot forget how Our Lord struck down individual enemies this year. William Rehnquist is dead. Sandra Day O'Connor is resigning. Bless you, God, for striking down those who would oppose your strict constructionist agenda. Richard Pryor's hate-filled rhetoric has been eradicated from our world. Now, no one will every have to hear the word "nigger" again. Liberal hero of the 1960s, Eugene McCarthy finally got his, too. Succumbing to Parkinson's Disease for his audacity in criticizing the Vietnam War, and undermining our troops abroad. Within 40 years, our current politicians will too feel the Lord's power. Do you hear me, Howard Dean? You're on His list now. And so, I cannot help but wonder what Lesterville did. Were gay men allowed to openly frolick on their streets? Could their local Wal-Mart be waging its war on Christmas, flaunting its intolerance of Christianity by daring to wish customers "Happy Holidays?" Did an activist judge or commy college professor denounce Intelligent Design as having no place in a high school science course? When the waters recede, we must conduct a full investigation. In examining the smallest sins of this small Missouri communitiy, I only pray that we can find a way to avoid the Lord's wrath next time. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I too saw Harry Potter and enjoyed it. While their ommission of Hermione's crusade to free the house elves didn't bother me (and, hey, way to go J.K. Rowling for taking that brave, hardline stance against slavery), the ommission of the Ministry of Magic intrigue seemed to be a terrible mistake. In the book, Cornelius Fudge is exposed as a grand politicial who is willing to ignore evidence that Voldemort has returned. Certainly there are no parallels for this in modern life that would have made this a controversial inclusion, are there? Either way, another thing that bothered me was that Voldmort immediately understood why his spell backfired. Isn't the entire point supposed to be that Voldemort can't comprehend how he and Harry are opposite sides of the same coin and can't figure out how to hurt him? I still liked it, and would give it a +3, but I wonder what the implications are for the rest of the Potter movies as the books just get longer and longer and more subplots are truncated or omitted. Anyway, in true Robertson style, I do pray that the new Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) kicks the bucket as his predecessor (the wonderful and incomperable Richard Harris) did. Gambon has never read any of the Potter books and it shows. His Dumbledore alternates between bellowing anger and senile mumbling, and never once appears to be the wise, constantly in control, and self-aware paragon of wizzardry that he is supposed to be. This role screams out for recasting. (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
11:04 pm	Random linkage (Bill) Virginia beat Florida State; right now, Florida State is beating the piss out of Tech in the ACC Championship Game. That means we're better than Tech, right? Um. whoops. Finally, there's actually going to be a movie about gay cowboys. It's supposed to be fabulous, and I look forward to it (probably on DVD, but no matter). But all I want to know is whether, at any point in the film, they're eating pudding. I'm a little irritated that Twins fans don't seem to think there's any real difference between signing one of these two guys: 1.A 36 year-old DH who has spent 14 seasons destroying his knees for a living and hit .256/.326/.452 last season; or 2. A 39 year-old DH who hit .271/.434/.562 the last time he got meaningful playing time and has spent 16 years as, well, mostly a DH. This guy might not be as good-looking or friendly as this guy--who's certainly one of my wife's favorite players--but at this point in his career, if Thomas is healthy enough to so much as lift a bat, he's an almost infinitely more valuable ballplayer. Having said that, although they'd almost certainly be inherently overpaying for Piazza's expected production (which could be had from Wes Helms, dear departed Mr. Lecroy, or about 25 other guys for $1.5 million or so), I'd get pretty excited if they landed either Frank or Mike. One is the best right-handed hitter of the last forty years or so; the other is the runaway Best Catcher Ever. Sure, both are shadows of their former selves, but just having those kinds of big national personalities around would provide the most excitement a single Twins non-pitcher has provided since at least 1996. Ditto for Nomah!, incidentally, though to a slightly lesser degree since he's no longer Hall-bound. 30-Second Film Review Remember these? Probably not. I've seen the new Harry Potter film twice now, surprise surprise, and considering that a film that attempted to do justice to this monstrous book would have to be some seven or eight hours long, they've done pretty well. From what I remember of the book, most of the parts that were cut out--i.e. Hermione's crusade to liberate the house elves--were the more contrived and less interesting bits. The films are getting more and more visually impressive, although something really needs to be done about all the Weasleys' hair. Anyway, the third film is still my favorite, but that may be because it's also been my favorite book to date. This one is really very well done, as they all have been. And perhaps most impressive is the kids: generally child "actors" suck. They're chosen because they're pretty, and they grow up to have little or no acting talent at all. But they're getting into their late teens now, and for the most part they can actually act. Lucky, no doubt, for all involved; if Radcliffe (who used to be terrible, but has suddenly turned into the best of the three) hadn't panned out and they'd had to replace him, the whole franchise would kind of start to look like a joke. CVAA: +4. Back to finals fun... (Comment on this)
Friday, December 2nd, 2005
5:31 pm	Finally, something (Bill) Having spent the last couple weeks watching the White Sox quickly get even better (well, mostly going to classes and studying and singing, but also watching the White Sox quickly get even better), it was a relief to see this today: Twins acquire second baseman Castillo What this means, most notably, is that the career on-base percentage of the guy named Luis starting for the twins has jumped 63 points, from .307 (from this joker) to Castillo's .370. He's also a much better defender, and he actually tries out there. In fact, Castillo's been one of my favorite players for a long time, and the fact that he comes to the Twins in exchange for two good-but-totally-superfluous pitching prospects and will earn a relative pittance ($5 million per) for the next two years is exciting. Long way to go, though. Now to Nomar Garciaparra and either Frank Thomas or Mike Piazza. Personal note: the deadline for accepting a summer offer has come and gone, and my splitting arrangement worked out after all. I'll spend eight weeks in Chicago and seven in Minneapolis. I'm excited. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
1:26 pm	Mid-Month Miscellany (Bill) It's been four weeks since I've written here, and over three weeks since anyone has written here. You'd think I'd have more to say. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays at 10:30, I'm in "Constitutional History I: Articles of Confederation to the Civil War" with Professor John Harrison. I love it for many reasons. For one, he opens every class with a monologue that's more like a stand-up routine than a lecture; it's generally completely unrelated to constitutional history, though he finds a way to tie it in somehow (usually very tenuously). This morning, his topic was the NL MVP vote. He fully approved of the selection of Albert Pujols, noting correctly that with Barry Bonds out for most of the season, Pujols was clearly the best player in the league. He then said (approximately) the following: In this class, we could be said to be living in the nineteenth century, because we're doing history, and that's the period we're primarily concerned with. The Associated Press baseball writers, however, are not doing history, they're doing baseball, and they could also be said to be living in the nineteenth century, because they continue to be focused on statistics like RBI when analyzing things like who the MVP is, and RBI is probably the most arbitrary statistic in sports. Which is intuitively obvious, really, because to get an RBI, you need to have other people get on base. And yet you see almost no mention of things like on-base percentage and slugging percentage, which really do tell you how valuable a player is. He even went on to mention OPS and a few other metrics, briefly. Earlier in the semester he quoted Bill James and even mentioned sabermetrics, for an obscure reason I've since forgotten. I just can't tell you how happy this makes me. ------------------------------------------------------- On the subject of the MVP award, the voters actually got the awards mostly right this year, with three exceptions (only one noteable). The selection of Bartolo Colon for the Cy Young Award was a joke, though a predictable one; if Professor Harrison thinks that RBIs are arbitrary (which, of course, they are), I'd like to hear what he thinks about the five extra "wins" Colon had over Johan Santana. Colon wasn't among the ten best pitchers in the AL this year, let alone the best one. But that's about it; while I wouldn't have voted for Ryan Howard as NL Rookie of the Year, that's a perfectly respectable choice (though I am a little shocked that Duke didn't make it in the top three). And I don't think Ozzie Guillen is a good manager in any sense, but managing is an unqualifiable and probably ultimately unimportant thing anyway; I've always thought that a good manager is just one that stays out of the way and doesn't screw things up too much (which Ozzie isn't particularly good at). -------------------------------------------------------- A final baseball note: these are dark days for the enlightened baseball fan, or at least the darkest they've been in five years or so. Red Sox GM Theo Epstein is gone, and the names that came up for his replacement were all Traditional Baseball Guy-type names. Paul DePodesta, Billy Beane's number-two computer geek of Moneyball fame, got the goodbye-and-good-riddance from the Dodgers. And the White Sox, widely (and wrongly) perceived as a team that relies on defense and small ball, won the World Series. I'm not sure I see any counterbalancing signs, either. The voters got it generally right, but for the wrong reasons; Chris Carpenter won the NL Cy Young over Clemens not just because he pitched more innings, and certainly not because hsi DIPS numbers show that he was the better pitcher, but chiefly because he had many more wins. Pujols won the MVP over Andruw Jones not because of his higher OBP or SLG, but because of his higher batting average. I think what we're seeing is a kind of backlash. It took a while for people to even become aware of these weird new ideas. Once they did, two or three years ago, they seemed to realize that these ideas work, and people were slowly coming around; now traditionalism rears its ugly head again and people find reasons to claim that these ideas don't work. Just part of the transition process, I think. I hope. ------------------------------------------------------ In personal news, I was trying for some time to organize a "split" arrangement with the firm in Chicago and the one in Minneapolis, so that I could spend the first 8 weeks of the summer in Chicago and the next 7 in Minneapolis. But now it looks like that might not work with the Chicago firm's schedule, so I'm leaning toward just spending the whole summer in Minneapolis...which, now that I think about it, is probably what I really want anyway. ------------------------------------------------------- It was my wife's birthday last Thursday. Everything about her is fabulous. ------------------------------------------------------- I still really like My Name is Earl and The Office, although the latter makes me squirm a whole lot. Kristine has also gotten me into a show on the Discovery Channel called Mythbusters, which is really, really intereseting (and not just because of Kari, the adorable redhead who can build stuff). I'm almost through season three of Gilmore Girls: seasons 4 and 5 are on my Amazon wish list already, so now I feel I have to wait until after Christmas to get them. I don't know how I'll cope. 'Tis all. I'll try to write more than once a month, but no promises. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 24th, 2005
11:47 pm	Quick Thought (Mike) I'm done with my work a little ahead of schedule for tonight, and I haven't written for a while, so I thought I'd jot down some thoughts. The next couple of weeks are going to be hectic, as well, please forgive a slower pace. I caught parts of the World Series last night, including Jose Vizcaino's single to tie it in the top of the 9th for the Astros and Scott Podsednik's home run for the Sox to win it. Both of these players have been good in the past. Vizcaino was a league average SS in his late 20s, and a slick fielder. Now, he's an overpaid, below replacement level, utility IF who possessies that magical quality that veterans seem to gain more of the more time they spend on the bench. Podsednik broke out onto the NL scene two years ago with an excellent rookie campaign (.314/.379/.443 with 43 SBs) before slipping dramatically last year and posting a completely empty .290 average (with no walks and no power) this year. I'm not sure I've seen unlikelier heroes for a while, particularly because of the ways in which they became heroes. Vizcaino, who hit .246/.299/.337 on the year was sent up over Orlando Palmeiro (.284/.341/.431) to pinch hit. Podsednik, who had not homered in 568 plate appearances in the regular season, while playing half his games in one of the best home run parks in baseball, hit his second homer of the postseason. Not since the days of Tom Lawless in 1987 have I seen such random heroics. Anywho, the wife calls and I'm tired. I'll try to write some tomorrow. In the meantime, if you've never seen Firefly and the movie Serenity that continues the story from the TV show, you are missing great, great things. Someday, you will look back and be sad. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 20th, 2005
2:10 pm	In a giving mood (Bill) Three things I'd like to give: -Grudging respect to the Chicago White Sox, who did what they had to do. For a while, it looked as though the umpires were going to give the Sox the series, making yet another inexcusably terrible call on the Steve Finley catcher's-interference-turned-double-play in game three. But then the White Sox went out and won that game by a wide enough margin that it didn't matter, and continued on to take the series for themselves in five depressing games. One could still argue that they gained an insurmountable edge--both real and psychological--after the umpires allowed them to steal game 2, and that the series might have been very, very different had the Angels come home up two games to none. But the Sox had at least a 50% chance of winning that game anyway, and with the Angels' complete incompetence at the plate (particularly reigning MVP Vladimir Guerrero, who swung the bat like the ball was a particularly elusive opponent in a drunken bar fight), it's hard to argue that that one play would have mattered all that much in the end. I still don't think the White Sox are as good as they played this season, and I think that substantially the same team next year is looking at about an 85-win year, but they've earned their place in the Series, and if I keep bitching about it now I'm no better than...well, than a Sox fan from '02-'04. -Happy thoughts in the direction of the Astros and their fans. It was great to see them finally make it to the Series, especially while Biggio and Bagwell were still around to enjoy it. I hope they win--let's be honest, I'd love to see them win four straight by identical scores of thirty-five to zero--but I've got to pick the Sox in seven. -An electronic boot to the head to the over 100 Representatives, like California Democrat Bob Filner, who refused to support "The Cheeseburger Bill." At least half of the people whose idiocy gives lawyers such a bad name are not even (practicing) lawyers. To claim that refusing to hold fast food restaurants liable for obesity fundamentally harms "the need of our children" is one reason that, no matter how disappointed and disenchanted I become with Republicans and conservatives, I'll never be able to make the jump. Democrats say a lot of things that sound really great (after all, who would ever want to be on the side that puts "the need of big corporations before the need of our children"?), but those pesky bullies, Reality and Logic, keep getting in the way... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 12th, 2005
11:30 pm	Well, there's just nothing fair about that. (Bill) Venting time: the evil, evil White Sox just "won" the most embarrassing, disgraceful game baseball has seen since the pine tar incident some 25 years ago. If you care you've probably seen it, but for no particular reason, here's what happened. Lovable sociopath A.J. Pierzynski strikes out to end the ninth inning. The pitch is very low, but Angels catcher Josh Paul catches the ball in the air, meaning the play, and the inning, is over. As Tim McCarver (who I really hate to agree with) points out, if anybody knows whether or not the ball hit the ground, it's Paul. And he has no reason to pretend; if it did hit the ground, all he'd have had to do was reach out and tag Pierzynski. The umpire makes the signal indicating that it was a swing and a miss, and then pumps his fist, indicating--no matter what anybody else tells you--that an out has been recorded. It's the same motion that every umpire makes on every uncontroversial swing-and-a-miss strikeout on a pitch that's well out of the strike zone. So Paul gets up and tosses the ball toward the mound, and the rest of the Angels begin to jog off the field, as they all should, since the inning is over and all. Then--or sometime while all this is happening--Pierzynski, who had started to walk toward the dugout, suddenly turns and sprints toward first. Nobody tries to throw him out, since a) the inning is over and b) the ball is sitting by the mound 20 feet from any Angel, since the inning is over. But the umpire, for no reason that can possibly be explained, says that Pierzynski is safe at first. Even though the inning is over. And oh, yeah, the inning was over. The inning was over. The damned inning was over. The rest of it kind of seemed inevitable: the pinch runner for Pierzynski steals second, then scores on a Joe "stupid ugly mullet head" Crede hit off the wall. Pinch runner scores, White Sox win. And all the while, the inning is over. Ugh. That umpire--in fact, all five umpires on the field--should be fired. Tonight. Or at least fined within an inch of their, um, solvency. And the White Sox should never win another postseason game...but that's not so much because of what happened tonight as because they're evil. And that whole Black Sox thing. (2 Comments |Comment on this)